Falling Asleep on the "Job"

At least have the decency to finish the job...


Things to Avoid: Falling Asleep on the "Job"

All too often you hear stories of thefts, murders, break-ins, Assaults, rapes...just about any crime imaginable where the crook falls asleep before he can get through the most important part of the crime...Them getting away with it! What makes this so?

Are they anxious the night before plotting their master plan that they can't sleep which makes them fatigue the next day? Is it the sheer jubilation of completing the crime that the crook quickly comes down out of his state of euphoria that the only thing to do it take a quick cat nap... just in time for the cops to come?

Why can't they just do things like the movies? A huge heist in a movie like Ocean's 11, was masterfully planned and executed that it left no trace behind. They stole millions of dollars from a heavily guarded casino and no one even came close to being caught...or they get out of their wrong doings in the second or third movie...

But the nimwit thief who breaks into a family's house only to steal some immitation jewelry at best can't even get that right. He see the bed staring at him in the face saying, "come, lay on me...Only for a moment." And you know what? He thinks, I've got some time to waste and in doing so he finds himself with plenty of opportunities to find ways for him to waste times...when he's doing 2-3 years for being a complete idiot...

Talking to the TV

"If I just let Jack Bauer know who the spy is, things will be resolved in a matter of minutes!"

Things to Avoid: Talking to the TV

We all have one friend who does this at some point...

When the lights are out and we are watching Jason 217 with all our friends. There's always that one person from the group who is scared out of her wits and decides the best thing is to let the half naked bimbo on the screen know where the killer is. "Don't Go Through That Door!" and sure enough she enters and is hacked to death by a kitchen knife. If only that damn TV had listened...

It won't and unless there is new technology where it turns the TV into one of those choose your own adventure books, it's not going to happen anytime soon.

Sure live TV little bit different because it's happening right then and there and who knows what will happen, but it's annoying when your Dad is watching his beloved New York Jets <--(CLICK) miss every pass thrown directly to the bread basket and finally he can't take enough so he blurts out "Catch a Damn pass!! Even I could catch that!"

Sure you could Dad...You don't need to yell anymore tonight, I'm sure they heard you loud and clear...

P.S. Don't forget to click the links on some names, they'll give you more insight in the Avoiding World...

The Stock Market

"Hey can you tell the nut behind me to shut it! I'm trying to place an order for Dominos"

As if this wasn't totally obvious.

Things you should avoid: The Stock Market

So how are your stocks doing? Bad? Well it's time to trade in anything you have left before you lose all your life savings. Too Late? Yeah, well I apologize for not reaching out sooner.

Listen, we are headed for a recession and each and every day the newspapers remind us of how bad it can be. I'm sick of seeing the next day, front page in red, telling the world that we are facing certain doom. Sure it has rose a bit in the past few days, but with so many companies getting governmental bailouts, I'm surprised to see any money left in the stock market.

So get out while you still can and move to a country that uses teeth as currency, if you still got them...