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Taking Care of a Baby

Dropping the ball on this blog

First off we would like to apologize for our laziness...There is really no excuse for our inability to make a simple post. We spread the word and get people to visit then...we leave you with nothing.

I know how addicted you were to these postings, so we will do our best in feeding your addiction...That is why something to avoid is starting a blog and forgetting about it. It's like we're your favorite TV show that's running smoothly until a big writer's strike comes in and messes with the whole flow. Well the writer's strike happened, it's called procrastination, but we're back and hoping to stay on for a long time.

Falling Asleep on the "Job"

At least have the decency to finish the job...


Things to Avoid: Falling Asleep on the "Job"

All too often you hear stories of thefts, murders, break-ins, Assaults, rapes...just about any crime imaginable where the crook falls asleep before he can get through the most important part of the crime...Them getting away with it! What makes this so?

Are they anxious the night before plotting their master plan that they can't sleep which makes them fatigue the next day? Is it the sheer jubilation of completing the crime that the crook quickly comes down out of his state of euphoria that the only thing to do it take a quick cat nap... just in time for the cops to come?

Why can't they just do things like the movies? A huge heist in a movie like Ocean's 11, was masterfully planned and executed that it left no trace behind. They stole millions of dollars from a heavily guarded casino and no one even came close to being caught...or they get out of their wrong doings in the second or third movie...

But the nimwit thief who breaks into a family's house only to steal some immitation jewelry at best can't even get that right. He see the bed staring at him in the face saying, "come, lay on me...Only for a moment." And you know what? He thinks, I've got some time to waste and in doing so he finds himself with plenty of opportunities to find ways for him to waste times...when he's doing 2-3 years for being a complete idiot...

Fight Scene

Fight! Fight! Fight!




Thing you should avoid: Fighting with a shirt on

The sheer volume of things I could say about this, the worst fight scene ever, make my head want to explode, so I will limit myself.

Sting Ray? Is that your name? Really? You deserve to get your ass kicked, my friend. Not just for having a mostly harmless sea-creature as your nickname, but also for licking your knife.

Weirdo.

The April O'Neil look-alike really put her money where her mouth was when she told you she could kick your ass with one hand tied behind her back.

It's okay, though, because she made possibly the corniest victory line ever after hooking you like a fish: "Keep an eye out for ya, Sting Ray!" Corny runner up to your boyfriend's also shameful line, "Yea! See ya!"

Panic Shopping for Guns

"Look here Maw, I bought me a bazooka."

Things to Avoid: Panic Shopping for Guns

No... I'm not talking about any gun shows...

According to the Connecticut Post there has been an increase in gun sales in the south. And you know what's causing the sudden increase? Obama's election. They think he'll intact stricter gun laws that will prohibit the selling of some "assault rifles".

Rightfully so.

They are assault rifles. What other use does an assault rifle have than to maliciously assault someone. If you need these guns so bad then clearly there's something else going on. "I just wish I could afford more," said one gun enthusiast. Why so you can hunt down your own food with an AK-47? Because you still think you're over in Nam? You don't need guns like that in everyday life.

There could be another reason why the south has purchased these guns in such high accordance. Could it be because our president is of another color? There are a lot of racist people that live below the Mason Dixon Line that still think the south won the Civil War. We'll they didn't. So get over it and get over your racism.

Change is at hand whether good or bad, but in the end I firmly believe that it is better to make love, not war...

Doodoo

While doing a Google search for one of my previous blog posts, I came across this question posted by dr. mysterio on Yahoo! Answers:

What was that song in the just for men touch of gray
commercial?
it goes, do do do do do do do dooo doo doodo do do do do do do
dooo doo doo

Thing to avoid: Asking the above question

I realize that someone else who knows the song could easily answer the question. But honestly, dr. mysterio, are you really only going to use two letters over and over again to describe a song?

Go to their website, ask a friend, or search the depths of the internet to find the song. Exhaust all options before you elect to look like a dumbass for all the world to see.