The Stock Market

"Hey can you tell the nut behind me to shut it! I'm trying to place an order for Dominos"

As if this wasn't totally obvious.

Things you should avoid: The Stock Market

So how are your stocks doing? Bad? Well it's time to trade in anything you have left before you lose all your life savings. Too Late? Yeah, well I apologize for not reaching out sooner.

Listen, we are headed for a recession and each and every day the newspapers remind us of how bad it can be. I'm sick of seeing the next day, front page in red, telling the world that we are facing certain doom. Sure it has rose a bit in the past few days, but with so many companies getting governmental bailouts, I'm surprised to see any money left in the stock market.

So get out while you still can and move to a country that uses teeth as currency, if you still got them...